Well well well ladies and gents, The WAFN crew (minus Stormtruper) is headed to Toronto once again to witness what should be pwnage at its very best. This saturday the boys at PP (Pure Pwnage) are releasing a double feature premiere at the Bloor Cinema in Toronto and you better believe we have tickets. There may still be some seats available so I encourage you to go to www.purepwnage.com to order some tickets online and get in on this awesome weekend. Logical, IMTHINKING and I will be hanging out around town all weekend so keep an eye out for us and hopefully we can see some readers at the theatre.

That's all for today, I'll tell you guys all about it once we get back on sunday...and once we recover lol.

FIREFOX 3 FUCKING

 
PWNS!!!

So I just finished reading an article about some reactions o the long ever rising prices of oil. Now it was the usual jargon with some pleasant new insights, now that people are actually complaining, but what caught my eye was that in India, China and the Middle East, gas prices in fact do not and have not risen lately. Wow WTF, I mean I'm not saying that many of the people there have the same luxuries as we do, but some do live better than us BECAUSE of oil, and this is the kicker: On last Wednesday India did boost its gas prices, CTV.ca says that "Consumers reacted by blocking rail tracks and roads, and shutting down businesses". Now that’s a big WAFN for India, like jeezuz christ, if countries like Canada, Britain, or the USA shut down like that because being angered by rising gas prices then there would be a great many problems wouldn’t there. In fact it might actually fixed a few. It may even be more likely that some fantastic story is made up and we create a war in order to control more oil...oh wait...

I'm BACK...sorry for the long absence everyone...

Anyways, I have never been a huge Warhammer fan unlike the other members of the WAFN crew but I must say this...This game looks AWESOME. For those of you who don't know, Dawn of War is the PC RTS version of the popular strategy game by Games Workshop called Warhammer 40 000 which centers around outrageously violent battles between various warring races within the 40K universe. The original Dawn of War and its expansions have been retardedly successful and this sequel looks like it may make 40K lovers cream their para-slacks. The visuals in this game will be stunning to say the least and the online play is rumoured to be taking a new direction then what Dawn of War enthusiasts are used to. That's right people, word is that you will be able to play online campaign co-op instead of just regular comp stomp. "RTS co-op....fucking sweet". Not only this but the campaign in general will be much different than your average RTS. Relic, the developers of the game, say that the campaign for Dawn of War 2 will have features that link it more closely to an RPG than an RTS "ala Mass effect". For example, for the space marines you will be in control of the same squad of units for the duration of the game which you can upgrade and add to when needed as well as adding individualized leaders. You will take this squad throughout the 40K universe in a space ship going back and forth from different planets running into optional story sequences "just like the distress signals in Mass Effect, lolz".

This game is not quite near finished but I have to say I am excited to find out more, and hopefully you are too Lolz. Thats all I have for you today faithful readers, feel free to check out the sweet snippet of gameplay I aquired from IGN. Cheers 

Well who can remember back to the re-release of the original Star Wars trilogy when Mr. Lucas and the gang added the extended ending? As the second Death Star exploded into tiny little pieces along with the Emperor the galaxy rejoiced cutting to scenes of Naboo, Tatooine, Endor, ect... Well now that you have that scene in mind, the Internet gaming community is essentially doing the same with the news that the most likely insane lawyer Jack Thompson has been brought up by the Florida BAR for an "enhanced disbarment". What this means is an inability to practice law in Florida for 10 years. Now that’s a great big what what in the butt for him.

After years of terrorizing the gamming community, the music genre of hip hop, as well as abusing the law and harassing other lawyers and judges alike Jacky boy is getting his comeuppance, and oh justice is sweet. How long has he been blaming school shootings, various crimes, bullying and general public malcontent to video games. Seeing how his accusation where ridiculous and had no legs to stand it, even he must have seen this coming. If you ever practice respectable law in the future here are some things to keep in mind JT:

1. The few do not define the many; some call this racism, ignorance, or prejudice

2. The market and the almighty dollar are protected by more than anyone could ever overcome

3. Fact can not be fabricated

4. Judges are more important than you

5. The law is not a toy for your personal amusement nor a backscratcher to reach your every itch

So just when you think the U.S. is getting a little smarter they go and do something stupid AND ignorant. I'm referring to two little pieces of recent news here. First off I had to applaud GM for the press statement they made in reference to the future of their business and do their best to "go green". Don't get me wrong here I am not one of those fanatical save the world people, frankly I don't care, I'll start caring when it becomes my problem or the government makes real changes, if its too late by that point then that sucks but that’s the way I am. But GM has said they will be fitting their new vehicles with a new engine that will up fuel efficiency (to everyone’s cries of joy what with gas prices) and reduce the production of SUVs in total. The Hummer line of vehicles may be gotten rid of entirely. Now one could also argue that this is not solely in the mindset of helping the environment. GM is also trying to save their own ass since their failure in their car line up 10 years ago led to a quick fix of supped up SUVs, now with that line of vehicles spiraling ever downwards due to save the earth mentalities and rising gas prices, GM has nothing as of now to fall back on. In fact they are closing some of their plants down this year and in the year to come.

The second piece of news I refer to is the nonsense with Dunkin Doughnuts and Rachel Ray. The former had a commercial featuring the latter wearing a white and black scarf. The commercial came under fire with allegations of supporting or enticing extreme Islamic terrorism...because of the scarf’s resemblance to a kaffiyeh, which is a traditional Arab headdress. Yes this is no joke. The ad was pulled when comments came in from every day Joe bigots as well as conservative commentator Michelle Malkin. Holy shit...like really people lets look at some of the things wrong about this. First off, they are lumping terrorists in the same package as your run of the mill Arab or Islamic worshipper. Secondly, this was clearly not the intent; third, if the Republican Party was looking to give the American people a few more reasons not to take them seriously they have succeeded with flying colors. Its this kind of things that let you know that you can be stupid and still get a well paying job, and if you see this as being as ridiculous as it is, then all the better for you.

Now don't worry this post is not about the discovery of a She-Hulk movie, if such a thing was ever discovered, my head would explode because of the agony and stupidity...even if I didn't know about it. My God lets hope that no writers come to this humble page and read this and get some naughty ideas. No, in reality I have a little venting to do, I'm not sure how long it will go on for so bare with me. Basically what I am talking about here is how disgusting Kelly Rippa's arms are. I mean my god, there are athletic women and then there are chicks who start looking like dudes. Lets review. Now I don't actually watch Regis and Kelly, but I do watch TV and I have seen the washing detergent commercial with her in it.

Jesus Christ it looks like someone sowed a man's arms on her. I mean I am all for women who enjoy working out and doing weights and stuff but I mean her biceps are just unattractive on every level. Some of you may think (especially some women) that this distaste stems from perhaps being emasculated by the fact (in all truth) that Kelly Rippa could probably kick my ass in a fair fight. This however, is untrue, it actually stems from the fact that its just fucking gross, embracing a woman like that feels like your hugging your younger brother or something. You think to yourself, hey here is this hot chick, cause I won't lie I think Kelly Rippa is cute, but then you take a woman like that into your arms and feel the caressing touch of her biceps bulging and glistening in the lights, looking like leather or putty stretched tight over rock. *Shudder*

Now one of the worst parts about all of this is that Mrs. Rippa makes a point of always wearing armless shirts and showing her grotesqueries to the world, probably because if she wore a regular shirt then her arms would rip through them when she "accidentally" flexed for the camera. And while we are on the topic of that commercial she is in, it starts as a dinner party, a man spills on the table cloth and she says "don't worry about it" and rips the table cloth away with everything still on it, made possible because of her ripped arms. Then she says "everyone follow me", then the screen goes black and it says One Hour Later, and then they appear in the laundry room. What The FUCK! What were they doing for one whole hour, finding their way through her house or something, a quick gang bang on the way there, or did she carry all of them to the laundry room, not that it would slow her down.

Anyways, point being is that unless you have some kind of fetish, big armed women are just not attractive, like ever time I see Kelly Rippa I just really say out loud WAFN LOL.

Well I suppose I am obligated to write now. Thanks Storm!  Lulz. NPD00DZ.

So yeah like Storm said Toronto like pwned and stuff. There were a few locations I regret not hitting but I think the excessive amounts of Thai food and Mandarin (during crab fest I might add) made up for it. There is a small breakfast diner in Toronto on College street just east of Bathurst called Maggy's. Basically this restaurant is the shit. Eventhough some of you might be like "oh maggy's thats where Jeremy from purepwnage goes you copy-cat" I don't really care. Because Jeremy did put the idea in our head but eating unveiled the truth about Toronto breakfast diners. That truth being, if it has a sign and is easy to find, its not worth your time. And I will live by that from now on. Wanna know what Maggy's sign is? It's a printed off 8.5x11" piece of paper in a page protector taped with pasking tape to their window. Thats class ladies and gentlemen.

But aside from the lack of awesome breakfast food I regret not baptizing Storm into the glory that is strippers. You see we had talked about it a bit, then forgot about it, then talked about it some more, then forgot, then my girlfriend urged me to take him (cool eh), and then we were gonna go and stuff, and then we drained our bank accounts on thai food. Which you might all think is ridiculous. But I have never been so satisfied in my life than the day we had Thai food three times. And those weren't even out meals!

So we didn't go.

So...

We'll go another time.

I don't really have alot of stories to share. The weekend, as Stormtruper said, consisted of alot of food and beer and video games. And it doesn't get much better than that my friends. If by chance we could talk a stripper into stripping next to the TV while we gamed then perhaps it might be slightly better. But in all honesty that doesn't even really affect the awesome that this weekend was too much.

When it comes down to it, a guy can't ask for much more. We pwned the droid army. We drank a 24. We ate as much cultural food as we could. AND we got some more pieces for our armies.  Which make me kind of sad because Stormtruper is all delusional thinking he can beat my daemons now. Just be delicate with him guys, its not his fault my daemons are unstoppable.

Ps. If anybody wants to see the one picture I did take this weekend leave it in the comments. K THX BAI.

Flaming torches bearing nothing but poo,

LogicalNot 

So it appears two of our writers are taking an extended vacation for a month since they last wrote. Which really puts the pressure on those of us who do write to make more posts, more frequently and more awesome. Well I can't promise awesome but I certainly will try to write more until the other two get back in the boat.

If you've been paying attention you know I've gotten into the Warhammer realm recently and finally played my first matches yesterday. It went well. I mean my demon army kept the game running into the last round despite the fact that we lost. Mind you alot of attacks were focussed on imthinking's Ogre army to avoid them coming into base-contact with the opposing armies: lizardmen and high elves. Which if your a warhammer gamer, you can imagine would be pretty shitty if your on a team army where all your units rely on brute force in base-contact battle. Basically it took half the game of watching our guys get picked off by their magic before we could get close enough to charge. Sigh. It was hard to watch. It certainly made me realize I need some ranged, faster, and magic units in my army. Which is what I'm doing today because an all Khorne army, although superiorly strong, can't cut it strategically.

My second game in warhammer I won, in a massacre of all things! I played against Storm's Orc army in a hand to hand skirmish match for 1000 point armies. I got lucky a few times. His troops failed animosity testing twice so they couldn't do anything for two rounds. And my army is just ridiculous for hand to hand. So my respect goes out to storm for giving me that opportunity. I know if he had it any other way than a "training match" he'd have some ranged weapons and would have hurt me bad before I could even get close to him.

Other than that, the lil girl is gone to Vietnam for a month. Life will be hard without her.

I'm not sure if any of the others have filled you all in about the COD4 tourney we were supposed to take part in. But basically some d00d was hosting a COD4 tourney and he invited Rapidfire who in turn invited his clan: the WAFN boys. So we were all stoked up ont his tourney and were going to start training and stuff when hosting-d00d decided to be a t00l. T00l decided to postpone the tourney until October to accomodate the release of the upcomming GOW2 game. Which all fine and all except the fact that now WAFN cannot partake in pwning a bunch of bitch-ass n00bs up North because we'll all be down south at school again at that point. 

News.. news... news.... hmm nothing else to tell. To be honest I've been pretty lazy with the site myself. I haven't kept up with the news or anything. So really I'm bringing you everything I vowed I wouldn't at the beginning of this project: a mass of personal bullshit that nobody cares about. Sorry d00dz.

I'm done for now, I'll see you all in hell.

LogicalCock